some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
