I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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