I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
