You really coming over, don't trick.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
they're like a gay fantastic four
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
