I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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