Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
false alarm. still invincible.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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