He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
