This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
