I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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