If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Panties = found
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
