He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
