that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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