It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A bitchslap is in order.
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