Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
