we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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