No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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