i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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