I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Congratulations! We have a period
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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