Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think i have two assholes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
