I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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