I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
