He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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