i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
