In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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