Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
