What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
