just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
