***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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