I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
