I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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