i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
