Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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