Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
