The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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