when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
