Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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