stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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