Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
false alarm, still single
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
