totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
