Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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