I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
