i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I believe in your delicious
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
