i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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