Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
