Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
