It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
