Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well I just put wine in my tea
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
