And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
