ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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