im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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