did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
