He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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